Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Parent update 2/28/12

It has been a while since I have posted. Some things and events are at times, to hard to relive (or write about).

Kathleen and Linda came by last night to work on Brendan. He was already in bed. It was the most calm (and quiet) I have seen him in awhile. He did have a tear slide down his face periodically. I think this is because he feels safe with them and the tears or that of relief.

This morning Brendan woke up in a good mood although his eyes were puffy. However, as soon as he found out he was going to school, he got very agitated. He was jumping, he was hitting the wall (at least it wasnt' me). I let him get it out and told him he has to go to school. It is a hard decision to make because I don't want him to take out his aggressions at school. However, I knew that if I gave in, then he will try this behavior every morning thinking he won't have to go. Luckily one of his favorite therapist was due to work with him at school today. So I mentioned to him that she would be there. THIS is what motivated him to go. It wasn't easy. But I gave him a monetary reward for getting dressed, then brushing his teeth, then getting in the car...you get the picture. It was hard for him to get out of the car once we got to school, but he went into class.

His Dad and I met with the school's behavioral consultant. As we were relaying all the changes in him lately, sleeping more, staying in his pajamas all day (of course who wouldn't like to do that) not wanting to go out, isn't interested in playing on his computer, doesn't want to shop on ebay, etc. Although much of these changes can be do to hormonal changes, being a pre-teen, etc. It hit me and the behavioral consultant at the same time the he could be suffering from depression. His Dad brought up a good point that because Brendan is very aware of things he may be realizing how different he is. Being a big kid doesn't help either when he towers over everyone else. So his afternoon program is going to focus more on independant skills (cooking meals) helping out more around the house. We are also going to turn the garage into a huge gym for him. Kinda of a "man-cave" where he can go and let out his aggressions or just exercise. It's going to take some work as we need to get rid of alot of stuff (willingly though). Our behavioral consultant may have someone that can watch Brendan so his Dad and I can work on the garage together to get it done faster. We will make it happen.

When I picked him up, they said that he had his moments of frustration but didn't hit anyone. So, he got to go to Target. However, he didn't realize that he walked out of class still holding this squishy ball. I told him we'll return it tomorrow. But he got upset. So, I said go ahead and take it back to class. This still made him upset and he started hit the wall. He was so mad at himself for taking the ball. He hates to think that he has made a mistake. SO, I pretended to return the ball to class (I disappeared around the corner so he didn't see me) and stuffed it into my pocket. I told him that I'm glad he hit the wall and not me.

He was fine in Target until he started to casually tear open the DVD. I told him we have to buy it first. Then he took it and tried to break it. So, I said that's it, we are going. He then grabbed a CD and threw it into the main aisle. I dragged him over and picked it up, and then we left. Yes, I know what you are thinking, I should have had him pick it up. However, not sure if he was going to have a full blown tantrum, I didn't push it. I could tell he was looking to grab and throw something else. So I grabbed him by both hands (had to dig my nails in a bit to distract him) and we left the store without further incident. Even though no words were spoken and there was no yelling, the guy who sits our in front to ask for money was about to and then stopped himself and said "ah, never mind". Traffic also stopped to let us cross in the parking lot. Thank God people sometimes get a clue. When he is like this, having people talk to him aggravates him more as well as having stop and wait. Someone was watching over us at that moment.

He actually did pretty good with this afternoons therapist. He had a few outbursts but nothing major. Then he was really good for most of the evening. No hitting, no headbutting, no screaming, no growling. Since taking a bath has been a disaster lately, I had him take a shower in our bathroom instead. This went fine. He wasn't agitated all night.. until bedtime.

Something in room set him off. He lunged for me a few times, starting screaming, hitting the wall. So, I sprayed his room with Holy water and sage. He is still up as I can hear him. But he is more calm. He is growling a little.

I am praying he has a good day tomorrow. I am hoping all will go well in the morning.

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